ONFIM BODRYASHKIN, FRESH MEMOIRS TOPIC OF THE DAY
(An excerpt of the novel)
That's really not lust treplenye win the Nobel laurels or royalties vouchsafed me to sit behind a keyboard. Do not lust for the laurels, and painful to my soul a vision of the abyss, threatening to fall into koyu Russian society, if not take immediately to strengthen your own foundation - selfless love of the people to their superiors. Even as a lad and desperate pioneers, I Onfim Bodryashkin, navrode Malchish-Kibalchish or, at worst, homeless Gavroche, eager to carry out personal mission in the historical destiny of the Fatherland. And all subsequent transient and prolonged drinking perekroykiny years spent in the creative search of a perfect shape, koyu ought to clothe their thirst for this, in order to bring Russian society in distress practical use. Form, finally, finding: from now on I put myself to work to write a bracing memoir, so that when zhivotrepiruya events emanated perspicacious and succeeding, that in the desired result spospeshestvovat the effervescence of the faithful love of the people to their superiors and, inasmuch as possible, the birth of reciprocal feeling of deep satisfaction. Pischedarny my mind and steady hand, sure, patriotic otsluzhat and Homeland, and you, I sought my reader.
Yes, memoirists be very interesting: the creative re-life statue without hands, plagiarism allegations, the court ...
Only afford to see:-acquired back in the Suvorov Military School in need of regularity and order forces me to create these records in a strict manner. Every memoir I'll start a little essay, as if asking the next topic or by entering a new unforgettable hero, and stuff - the texture, that is the actual topic of the day. Memoir writing in the dynamics - in the pose of a contemporary, rather than the chronicler - albeit imperfect verb form.
More: if my labor patriotic - and we mean it and Royalty Free - I, in some places, afford to neglect the obsessive self-censorship and safely indulge in painful withdrawal, so that you, my grateful reader for the inevitable narrowness of each special theme of the memoir does not have overlooked the whole expanse stood out among the rows of modest nature of the author. By the way, looking for a publisher soon with the correct state concept in the curly head, rather than with weighty fee in cash. And the degree of sensation, which excites in the reader, my opus, will depend on its continued
And yet. Dishes his honor in relation to you, my reader hopeful, and perhaps even at a loss referred to the first reader's rule: first, find out who the author - and then read it. So, my prediction ...
I came to light in the Sorvigolovsk´s hospital, about fifty years ago. The city is - literally and figuratively - in the cold Neproymensk´s side, and due to the presence of a secret factory in those days it was still closed to foreign spies ... Death to Spies! Excuse me, blurted involuntarily. I was born, almost certain in the late morning, so early do not be angry with the performance of the duty obstetrician, nurses and nannies. Mamynki-papynki and other alleged relatives do not have known from the same late-March morning, and has grown and developed on a budget, that is to say only thanks to the care of the native people in power bosses. Immediately declare once and up to the last line of the memoir: the rest of his prejudiced by me from the media and from deviant people, all the good brought into my boss - the more, the Soviet. It has provided me with a vengeance Darwinian natural right to survive in a hostile environment: and then - in the depths of Sorvigolovsk´s incubator I have not disappeared, despite more favorable to the premises, but after thorough was well fed at the headquarters of N-Scoy the Soviet army, was a high army, and later in the humanities, education, with all the grants and procurement, was granted easily and without any note, cronyism defend his thesis for a candidate dushevedcheskih Sciences - my square head and there was not an obstacle! - Received a state-owned housing, and three were given life by lifting me - money, furniture and other things quite fit for farming and life and property prichindalom. Even small things Soviet authorities have never forgotten: I always got from the treasury and funds vsevsyacheskie free vouchers, travel, awards, coupons, gifts, body props, food rations, clothing allowances, vehicles ... This I have windfall revenues droop! I promoted to the rank of Major. A Major - who rusty Latin - means the chief! True, because of the confusion in the documents of a routine personnel officers from the Ministry of Defence has already fifteen years can not sort out: I second major-stock or still earn a paramount Prime Majors - read: Lieutenant? Therefore, when I communicate with friends and pleasant in all respects persons shall, at the innate modesty, seconds, and when the track in front of strangers or enemies trump - well, then hold: here I vsamdelishny Prime! Single, that is to say, the ladies know a lot ... very strict with the priests of all religions and mimicry. Priests in Russia will not go! I am the author of acclaimed book capital Eros in the home authority - well, this is a separate serious conversation ... I have not so bulky, but impressive at the emotional level, print In a Crisis Morality should be Economical, Fundamentals of the Theory Just Theft, How to Safely Reorganize the ROC to the Museum of the History of Orthodox Culture, How to Get Rid of Without Bloodshed Native lzheneoliberalov and so on. In the Russian winter titanic feed titmouses - here I am equal to Neproymenske just not there. My titmouse not some you ptah-vertoprakhov jumped skokie da chik-ciric, and specific-such bbw veselushki - pleasure to look at! As every Russian person, I am strong in the good intentions, but - trust me on word! - often am very rvenliv affaires. And most importantly, I'm brutal patriot: the native chiefs serve with a smile, I go toe the line and keep the tail wheel! I and, in some way, "an official for special assignments," as used to say in the nineteenth, my beloved, literary century. Now serving slave privivatorom Institute of burning issues: inoculate people socially necessary vaccines love to his superiors. I consider myself a literary scholar, an expert on politics, society, women in general. He was awarded the rare medal for efikatsiyu country. Other promised rewards has not waited, however, did not grumble. I, like a true son of Russia, is still to come!
My motto is: happy!
Memoir № 1. "The authorities and people - are one!", Or one day
ZhIVOTREPe
Glancing analytical gaze perekroykin last year, I again go back to, at least, a happy day for the local people when our drinking Castle reigned new administration. When I proznal whose brightest minds and honest hearts of the local and imported Generale and direktoralov amounted administration Neproymensk´s hand, I could not keep surging feelings and remember hung with samoraspisnymi placards and beating himself on sounding medals on his chest, rushed to the central square of the regionalcapital and cried: "All comrades! Wait! Brightest minds! Honest heart! And what track records! New cadres decide everything! Our cause is just! We will win! "
Immediately, of course, there were puffer, adopt alternative shouting: "Our business left! We will win! ", And well, in my fists and flagpole poke: again, they say, this Bodryashkin taketh fresh superiors publicly lick, in order to put a post ...
No, sir! I am not apolitical, but fundamentally bespartien! I believe: the party needed only when the clouds are gathering over the state's invasion. Only predgoze revolutions, civil wars, rebellions and prebolshuschih political position of members of public conflict, mature and fully exposed, and even of the public, Koya "is not in the subject, it becomes clear - to anyone to join or for whom to vote. In quiet times nedogonyayuschie same division of the Russian society at the "right" and "Left", "our" and "Nenashev", "got out of ...", "down with ...", "rolling in ...", "going on ..." - all This division is invented by politicians, that in a peaceful society to organize the fight and, thus, do not lose their livelihood. Well, the truth: we have "left" scratched in the field of natural greed - find praviznu, "right" scratched in the public conscience - to find leftism. Agree, politic, my reader, in modern Russia the Democrats - not democratic, the Communists - not kommunistichny, conservatives - not conservative, the liberals - not liberal nationalists - not the Nazis, the guerrillas - all kitchen gardeners or Chekhov, and socialists - and those do not. Why are there unwanted party that - manual labor unions! We have a war - not militant, civilian - not citizenship, and athletes - not sports, uneducated - do not know, educated - can not do anything, only the woman - feminine: the ladies and girls - ur-r-ra! But the division of society into bosses and people naturally and legitimately. Without pointing fingers of the authorities, without fathers commanders - and the very history of human society would fail. Climbed to today through the trees as virgin Kluneva with their boyfriends, the heads of passers-by urinate. Chiefs and heads the state leads the nation, therefore, for the people of the bosses is a synonym of the State. Rebuilding Russia has a chance only to bow heads with his people. Chief ordered - means do! Around the subject of the Russian people, united states, and repeats his actions, including the stupid and disastrous: the state is at war - and the people lies with the bones, the state is building an empire to build capitalism or socialism - and people are building their own, the state destroys itself - and the people of his thunder officials steal - and the people behind ... No boss, no heroes, people can become the subject of history only, provided they possess the new idea, and then, under this very idea put forward by the founding fathers of the commanders who want to become the new boss, and take the lead. But it will be a rare case of social revolution, catastrophe, when the government - read: the boss - is not able to manage the old way. On this and another comrade Lenin arhipravilno wrote. Did the people possessed by a new idea? With the new idea has long zakovyrka: capitalism was socialism was, Communism has already announced ...
As for "publicly lick the bosses" ... I did as a child not to lick boarding bandit acne. A Pimple was, I assure you! .. Its all tutors were afraid to even fizruk. I am not a serf, but why not head to the service? Only with you, trusting my readers, I'll be honest and straight naivozmozhno: dushekopatel on the nature and military dusheved by diploma, I just noticed after him: yes, in an unexpected moment of accession of the new administration in me has always adopted an unshakable faith: it is a boss to us andmissed all the previous years! But tactfully remind possible kritikanam: And this feature of my nature is not uncommon in the zoological Neproymenskoy side. On the contrary, shouting "Hurrah!" Fresh bosses - indeed, our national trait, and therefore I did not ashamed to be happy by its owner. And in all sublunary world with respect to the authorities all exactly the same as ours: yet Rabelais mentioned the book "On chinopochitanii abound, but so what svobodonravie and bodromyslie reigned in Western Europe during the Renaissance!
So, inspired, I remember, extraordinary. And it was from anything!
Naidemokratichno of the Administration, having a good purpose building of the Second capitalism, threw in unrestrained mass neproymenskie innovative slogan: "The authorities and people - are one!", And he wisely guided, actively took heat up and take a strong liking to his heart cooled so-called ordinary people. I beg to new admins, not letting go of the mind and its unshadowed future accidents, without which, by itself, can not happen true happiness of the people have decided to formally conceived "Activities of public Vaccine love to superiors" put on okolonauchnuyu basis, traditionally "closed" for idle public. With this laudable purpose of administration Neproymenskoy side opened at the Institute currently pressing problems, an acronym - ZHIVOTREP. Naturally, I was nominated dushevedcheskih Sciences and author of a number of original works of okolonauchnyh superiors and his people, offered to post ZhIVOTREPe slave privivatora.
With a spectacular professional success lies in the post today, I had the opportunity to make a thousand, how short-sighted people dropped hardened hearts of the first commandment of being happy: "You shall love your boss!" My course, I note, not from a cool-light! Here, for example, the evidence of malice only one working day, when I'm on schedule, had to remain on duty ZhIVOTREPe privivatorom.
Text http://www.proza.ru/2011/05/14/958
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